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What are some funny and smart quotes?

14.06.2025 04:29

What are some funny and smart quotes?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Could humans be selectively bred, like dogs, to create 2 subspecies that can no longer have offspring? Do I not understand selective breeding properly? Im not worried about the moral implications, just the science please.

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Why do nearly all of the answers on Quora have “read more” and when I click on it, I get a virus warning every time? Has anyone else had this happen?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Why did Democrats echo that Joe Biden was greater than FDR and should be put on Mt Rushmore? Why did Democrats vote for Biden blindly in the primaries and deny he was mentally impaired? Was it the lying media, or are Democrats ignorant and gullible?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”